TEAM QB RANKINGS

Rank Team Playoff Wins SB Wins Rating Overall Top QB Next SB Win
1 Patriots 37 6 94.34 Aura Tom Brady 2061
2 Cowboys 36 5 83.78 Aura Troy Aikman 2032
3 49ers 39 5 78.67 Aura Joe Montana 2087
4 Packers 37 4 68.82 Sigma Bart Starr 2035
5 Steelers 36 6 60.30 Sigma Terry Bradshaw 2031
6 Chiefs 26 4 50.10 Sigma Patrick Mahomes 2026
7 Ravens 18 2 47.48 Sigma Lamar Jackson 2044
8 Broncos 23 3 43.95 Slaps John Elway 2029
9 Giants 25 4 43.52 Slaps Eli Manning 2041
10 Eagles 29 3 36.88 Slaps Jalen Hurts 2027
11 Raiders 25 3 31.20 Delulu Jim Plunkett 2045
12 Seahawks 17 1 28.79 Delulu Russell Wilson 2054
13 Commanders 25 3 28.17 Delulu Joe Theismann 2042
14 Dolphins 20 2 26.58 Delulu Bob Griese 2098
15 Colts 23 2 25.46 Delulu Peyton Manning 2028
16 Buccaneers 12 2 25.19 Delulu Tom Brady 2038
17 Rams 27 2 24.63 Delulu Kurt Warner 2036
18 Bills 21 0 16.00 NPC Jim Kelly 2043
19 Panthers 9 0 13.42 NPC Cam Newton 2105
20 Vikings 21 0 13.00 NPC Fran Tarkenton 2037
21 Bears 17 1 11.14 NPC Jim McMahon 2055
22 Saints 10 1 11.05 NPC Drew Brees 2112
23 Jets 12 1 10.11 NPC Joe Namath 2103
24 Bengals 10 0 7.19 Cooked Joe Burrow 2053
25 Titans/Oilers 17 0 7.14 Cooked Steve McNair 2074
26 Jaguars 8 0 6.93 Cooked Mark Brunell 2120
27 Falcons 10 0 5.38 Cooked Matt Ryan 2034
28 Browns 12 0 4.46 Cooked Otto Graham 2052
29 Chargers 12 0 4.33 Cooked Philip Rivers 2058
30 Texans 6 0 4.16 Cooked Matt Schaub 2148
31 Cardinals 7 0 2.76 Cooked Kurt Warner 2047
32 Lions 9 0 1.32 WTF Bobby Layne 2063

FAQ

What does the “Next SB Win” column mean?

The HeyTC AI engine (affectionately called “Yachtie”) predicts the year each NFL team will win their next Super Bowl—or their first in some cases—based on historical team quarterback data and trends. For example, the Chiefs are forecasted for 2026, while the Saints will have to wait until 2112.

Why do the Steelers rank lower despite matching the Patriots’ Super Bowl wins?

With 6 Super Bowl victories and 36 playoff wins, the Steelers earn a strong 60.3 rating and “Sigma” status, but they trail the top four due to slightly less QB stability compared to eras like the Packers’ or Cowboys’ Hall of Famers—still, their consistency keeps them elite at No. 5.

Will the Patriots always be number one?

No. With Brady retired and Bill Belichick gone, the Patriots seem to have only one direction to go—down—unless they uncover another dynamic duo to rebuild their quarterback legacy.

Are the New England Patriots still the dominant force in QB history?

Absolutely—they lead the pack with a top score of 94.3, 37 playoff wins, and 6 Super Bowl victories, thanks to the legendary stability of Tom Brady over 20 years. 

Are the Detroit Lions really that bad?

Unfortunately, yes—it’s shocking how consistently poor they’ve been at quarterback. With no long-term stability, a revolving door of starters, zero playoff success, and a dismal rating of 1.3, they land dead last (32nd) in the rankings, with only memories of Bobby Layne as their historical highlight.

How often is this ranking updated?

Primarily during the NFL postseason and immediately after the Super Bowl, to incorporate the latest playoff outcomes and quarterback performances into the ratings.

What does the “Rating” column represent?

The Rating is a composite score that evaluates each team’s historical quarterback performance, factoring in metrics like playoff wins, Super Bowl success, and overall stability at the position.

What do the slang terms in the “Overall” column mean (like “Aura,” “Sigma,” or “WTF”)?

These come from our “Dad Glossary” for a fun, informal vibe on team QB vibes:

    • Aura/Elite: Legendary dominance (e.g., Patriots).
    • Sigma/Great: Consistently elite (e.g., Packers, Cowboys).
    • Slaps/Good: Solid performers.
    • Chill/Average: Reliable but unflashy.
    • Delulu/Mediocre: Overhyped potential without results.
    • NPC/Subpar: Forgettable and inconsistent.
    • Cooked/Non-Factor: Total busts.
    • WTF: Utterly baffling disasters (e.g., Lions).

How accurate are Yachtie’s “Next SB Win” predictions?

Yachtie uses AI to analyze historical QB trends, but it’s predictive—not prophetic. It’s meant for fun and insight; past forecasts have nailed short-term winners like the Eagles but can swing wildly for drought teams (e.g., 2061 for the Patriots’ next ring).

Can I use this ranking for fantasy football or betting?

It’s a historical deep dive into QB legacies, not a crystal ball for 2025 and beyond. Use it for bragging rights or trivia, but pair it with current stats for picks—Yachtie’s predictions are long-term vibes, not week-to-week edges.