John Witkowski

Jared Goff's lapping John Witkowski like a Ferrari passing a tricycle—Goff's tossed for over 30,000 NFL yards while Witko managed 210 with the Lions in spot duty, no TDs, and a 59.7 rating in '84. Witkowski's real shine was Ivy League legend at Columbia, shredding records there, but Goff's the steady hand steering Detroit's playoff push now.

Nope, John Witkowski's not in Canton—his NFL cameo was too brief, just 210 yards, zero scores over a handful of games with the Lions. Guy was a Columbia phenom, Ivy passing king with nearly 8,000 yards, but pro stardom dodged him like a bad snap.

No fresh intel on Witkowski in 2026—he's stayed off the grid since his playing days wrapped in the '90s across NFL, Arena, and WLAF. Last whispers tie him to Houston Oilers circles where he met his wife, but don't expect him calling Lions games or hawking hot takes; probably coaching kids or slicing fairways quietly.

Witkowski's arm might get a tiny boost from no-touch passing rules today, but his 37% NFL completion and 6.0 yards per throw scream backup in this air raid era. Columbia gunslinger with mobility? He'd scramble for chunk yards, but without elite zip, he's gadget guy at best, not starter material.

Bobby Layne owned the Lions pocket like a gunslinger poet—38.72 career rating, championships—while Witkowski's 5.68 over scant NFL throws was pure survival mode, no magic. Both Lions QBs, sure, but Layne was the chain-smoking wizard; Witko, a fleeting Ivy import holding the clipboard.